Mortification is the key to happiness

I’ve always had trouble understanding mortification. In becoming Catholic, there were subjects that I sidelined, preferring to focus on the meat and potatoes of Catholic life, instead of the weird fringe. For instance, I always steered clear of the saints section of the bookstore, especially the book entitled The Incorruptibles. That’s the kind of stuff that gives me goosebumps. Then there’s mortification. What sane person would subject themselves to pointless misery? But when you look at those who have practiced mortification according to the faith, like Pope John Paul II or Mother Teresa, they weren’t miserable. They were gloriously, happily, unshakably at peace. Maybe those crazy Catholics (ha! us crazy Catholics) are on to something.

Let’s consider the nature of mortification for a minute. It is technically, “the subjection and denial of bodily passions and appetites by abstinence or self-inflicted pain or discomfort”. It’s not just self-inflicted pain or discomfort. It is pain in a very specific context, with the goal of subjugating our desires. Why should our desires be subjugated? We could just chase our every whim, letting our desires rule us. But then we’d look a heck of a lot like Chris Jr. (He’s 2 now! And good at it.) when he’s protesting the denial of his third DanAnimals drink for the day, no matter what it might do to his digestive system. If we decide we must have the light-up bouncy ball, when it is taken away from us, we suffer great emotional angst. Of course, this is nothing more than our own ridiculous desires turned against us. If we could wield our self-control such that our very desire for the light-up bouncy ball doesn’t sway our emotions, we could be happy no matter what come along. If.

So then, mortification is a forced detachment from the things that matter more to us than they should. I’m sure that Pope John Paul II liked a comfortable bed, but when he slept on the floor, he made himself rely on the bed less and rely on Christ more. He detached himself from the bed, so that he didn’t need it to be happy. When we’ve achieved that detachment, we can be happy in whatever circumstances we are in. Then like the men of the New Testament who suffered great persecution, we can rejoice in the great things that God has done for us even when the world seems to be ending.

Unfortunately, we are creatures made of flesh. Our desires are difficult to ignore just by concentrated effort. They can only be subjugated by making a habit out of mastering them. It is with practice that we can hone our desires and attitudes and emotionally suffer less though our physical sufferings remain. That is the goal of mortification – our happiness based firmly on the foundation of what really matters instead of on something as changeable as the weather. Truly, what matters most is our relationship with God, to remain in Him and He in us. If we have that, nothing else should bother us. It’s not that our sufferings aren’t real. We really feel the physical pain, and pain is a real evil that we sometimes must endure. It’s just that our happiness lies in God alone, not in our creature comforts.

Where am I with all this? I’m taking baby steps to mortify my creaturely desires. Right now, I’m having a difficult time controlling the urge to buy. Specifically the urge to buy yarn. That’s right. Yarn. It’s something that non-knitters/crocheters might have a hard time understanding, but it’s a well known addictive side effect of knitting. I see a skein of 40% alpaca, 35% merino wool, 25% silk, in a pearl gray hand dyed colorway and I start to drool. I imagine the lovely things that could be done with such a yarn. My world would be a better place, I’d be a happier person, a more patient mother, if I only had this yarn. But I am making an effort to control this seemingly ridiculous urge. I’m waiting to buy. I’m saving up spending money. I’m resisting the desire to load up the credit cards and hide the mail from Chris.

It’s maybe only half a baby step that I’m working on here, and I’m not doing all that well. I think the reason I fall so short so often is that I spend a lot of time thinking about the best way to do things, the right thing to do, and I try very hard to work it all out. In the end, it’s me trying to work it all out. All too often, I’ve sidelined Christ as my guide instead of my strength. I’ve tried to get to know the person of Christ, to serve Him, to emulate Him. But it’s just me trying, and I’m not letting Him do the work. I confess I don’t spend nearly as much time as I should just with Christ. I haven’t made Him the light of my life, I’ve made Him the book light. I turn Him on when I want to look something up and figure something out.

Mortification teaches me that practice at denying my lesser desires will allow Christ to blossom as the center of my life. So then – small steps, little habits, repeated attempts. All on my to do list.

These lyrics are from Paul Inwood’s Center of my Life, and seem applicable:

“O Lord, you are the center of my life: I will always praise you, I will always serve you, I will always keep you in my sight. Keep me safe, O God, I will take refuge in you. I say to the Lord, “You are my God. My happiness lies in you alone; my happiness lies in you alone.”

9 Responses to Mortification is the key to happiness

  1. lenetta says:

    Such lessons we can learn from those who have walked the path set before us, eh? Our Bible study group is reading “Rediscovering Catholicism” by Matthew Kelly for the summer and in one chapter, he discusses fasting. He says that every single meal, we should practice some type of fasting – whether it’s not salting our soup, or not taking a second helping, or whatever. I think he used the term “mortification” – denying the flesh to give strength to the spirit, anyway. Very, very good stuff. And, I think the thing to remember is that there are many different types and levels of mortification. It goes against *everything* our society tells us, though.

    PS – I’m finding that a certain someone is really REALLY good at being three… phew. I kind of can’t wait for four!

  2. Stacey says:

    It does go against everything our society tells us! They think happiness comes through “self fulfillment”, careers, money, sex, power, discoveries, innovation, lasting legacies, etc. And here we are, saying happiness comes through denying those things, and clinging only to Christ! Wonderful, isn’t it? Especially since we can empirically see that having all those material things does not create happy people. Over mother’s day I went to the spa for a massage (doc told me to!) and I saw all these wealthy women chatting, talking about their regular visits there. They were nitpicking and complaining, finding things to be unhappy about, which is totally ridiculous when you’re having a day at the spa! Bizarre to witness.

    Oh, I don’t know if four is any better! Isabel’s birthday is a week away, and four has its own challenges. She’s very precocious. So smart that she thinks we just don’t fully understand the situation, and if we did, we would come to the same conclusions as her, and so she does whatever she thinks is right. At least the full out thrashing fits are coming to an end 🙂 It’s more of an intellectual power struggle now!

  3. lenetta says:

    I’m screwed then. :>) :>) Wouldn’t have it any other way!

  4. Tap says:

    Well written as always.

  5. kkollwitz says:

    15 or so years ago my wife & I decided, due to encouragement from the pulpit, to give up TV for Lent. The whole family was mortified indeed! But after Lent was done, we realized we liked life better without TV & quit permamnently.


  6. Stacey says:

    Wow! I hate to admit it, but giving up the tv would be hard for us! Especially come dinner time when a well-placed cartoon usually keeps the kids from getting underfoot. Something to think about, though.

  7. kkollwitz says:

    I’m reminded of this:

    Colossians 1:24: “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church.”

    There are many understandings of this passage. One that works for me is that we, as physical parts of Christ’s mystical body which is the Church, agree to participate in His sufferings. That is, as Jesus accepted his sufferings as being about more than his own private misery, we should opt to do the same in unity, or harmony with Him, in regard to our suffering.

    Of course mortification means more than offering up the bad stuff that happens to us by chance. I think this is because Jesus actively embraced suffering which he could have avoided…and in imitation of Christ, we should too.

  8. Stacey says:

    What you’re talking about, the mystical side of suffering, is so hard for me to get a grasp of. But, I can always emulate Christ, though the understanding eludes me!

  9. kkollwitz says:

    Many of my 6th graders play sports. I remind them that they freely mortify themselves at practice in order to be better players.

    The voluntary embrace of physical pain & exertion at practice trains not only the body, but also the soul.

    I’m also fond of this from Malcolm Muggeridge: “Everything important thing I learned, I learned through suffering.”

    I hope I’m not beating this topic to death.

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